Fed Up With Myself

I look at myself and I want to change so bad. I watched a preaching DVD of David Gibbs this morning and it is one of my favorite messages, Doing the Impossible. This is an amazing message, if you want to hear it there is one on sermonaudio.com that I think is the same thing. I haven't checked. In my book this sermon is one I've listened to numerous times but I still need it, I guess it's like Jonathan Edward's Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God.
I've been struggling with the whole concept that we have good churches full of people who are unwilling to leave their comfort zone and do something for God. Yes, I know we have to have those faithful ones who remain at home to take care of the church, but I fear our churches grow larger and larger because people become too comfortable.We have people that are called to go but they stay. I fear that might happen to me and I pray it never will. I'm not saying that we should all go to the foreign missionfield, home is a missionfield all in itself. Nevertheless, we need to beware of becoming too comfortable and not willing to do whatever God says. I've realized though that I can't change anyone else, just myself. I can voice my concern, but I've got to look in the mirror.
I just know I don't want to be a stagnant believer, sitting in my good church, serving in my ministries that were created for me. I don't want to just be a good Christian, I want to be a great believer for Christ. But I don't want to have people look at me and say "Look what she did for God!", I want them to say, "Look what God did!" Yet, I want to be out there, I want to be on my missionfield, wherever that is. I'm ready, willing, excited, and I guess impatient to get there. I feel like we have so little time left here on earth and I myself am not using it wisely enough. I think I'm failing. Mediocrity scares the life out of me! I'm so afraid of becoming just another run-of-the-mill "Christian". And I guess I feel alone, I feel there aren't many out there that feel like I do. This isn't something I should feel alone in, yet I do. I'm just petitioning others to not become so tangled up with your lives that you become comfortable where you are.